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Throwing A Couple’s Baby Shower Idea

Baby shower party is probably one of the most fun and exciting event for the mom-to-be. In most cases, a lot of women gets too excited to host the said event rather than men. It is a lot true especially if the baby is a girl, where there will be lots of pink galore, and you will most certainly see it on everything from decorations, cakes to gifts. However, have you ever imagine what it would be look like when the event is a couple’s baby shower?

Throwing a couple’s baby shower party which certainly involves men will need to be done a bit different. It would be a downright inappropriate if all the details of the shower will only focus to the mom-to-be and to her upcoming child. While traditional shower games involves guessing the mom’s tummy measurement, having this game in a couple’s baby shower is completely out of line. Apparently, men are not crazy over pink stuff, and if men are on your guest list, you will need to think of great ideas to make sure that the shower is enjoyable for them as well.

If planning to throw a couple’s baby shower party is what you want, you have to consider few minor modifications in your list of things to do. First, you have to informed all your guests that this is a coed event. You don’t want to see the father-to-be all alone in the party, while all other male friends and husbands are enjoying on the golf course. Informing everyone, especially males, will know that they, too, are invited. Since this is quite a novelty, it is always best to put some extra effort of planning this event seriously.

Try to avoid including pink in your decorations, the lesser the decorations the better. Focus more on food. Finger foods are always best, and so are canned sodas. If you plan of having punch, again, avoid making it pink. Think of a couple’s baby shower as a cross between a Super Bowl party and a traditional baby shower, you will then realize its oddness can generate surprising ideas. You might want to have themed shower with decorations that will not make men feel out of place.

Perhaps instead of having traditional baby shower games, you might want to have an open forum program where other couples can share their points and views about having and raising babies to the expectant parents. But if you’d still like having some fun games, include the disciplines that guys love best – skill and speed – with the new discipline dad-to-be will need to learn, diaper changing for in instance. Also, you don’t want to forget other elements that both traditional and couple’s shower should have. Don’t forget baby shower favors and gifts. After all, shower is all about throwing blessings to the expectant parents. And again, avoid pink! Purchase party favors that are not gender-specific, as well as shower gifts. However, just don’t forget that the upcoming little bundle of joy is part of the party also. A baby gift basket can make a perfect gift because you can include not only gifts for the parents but baby gifts as well.

Jnet is an author for a variety of lifestyle issues and topics. If you’re looking for baby gift ideas, visit the website Prettybabygifts.com and browse their collection. Shop for baby crib bedding sets online!

10 Parenting Tips For Elementary-Age Children

Do you have a child between the ages of 5 and 9? That special season is a time of enormous growth and development and can be a whirlwind to observe. I am privileged to be parenting my fourth elementary-age child. Here are some of my favorite 10 parenting tips for early school-age kids.

1. It’s a big world.

The first few years of school are exciting and stressful. Learning how to listen to adults besides mom and dad and being on their own for several hours each day is a tremendous leap forward in a child’s life. As a parent, keep in mind this transition your child is moving through and be patient and understanding.

2. Give them your confidence.

A child this age often will doubt his abilities. Sometimes he will verbalize this lack of self-confidence; sometimes it stays his little secret. You can help him by sharing your own confidence in his abilities with him. Be matter-of-fact about his talents and express your utter confidence in him, even if you have your own set of concerns.

3. Be interested.

What is your child learning about school? How did recess go? What is her favorite part of school? What is bugging her? Staying interested in your child’s daily life goes a long ways towards establishing a healthy on-going relationship.

4. Friendships count.

An elementary-age child is learning a lot about friendships. What works and frustratingly, what doesn’t. They are also learning that families operate differently; what is a vital rule in your own family may not matter at all in another family. Learning that people do things differently is an important lesson at this stage.

5. Talk values.

This is the age to solidify what values are important to your family with your child. Ideas such as:

- We are kind. Why is this important?

- We are fair, even when others are not.

- We tell the truth, even when it gets us into trouble.

These important concepts MUST be cemented in your child now if you want him to live by them when he gets to the teen years.

6. Don’t overload.

In this day of multiple after school activities, it’s easy to pile on too much for the average primary-schooler. Her main ‘job’ is school, so give adequate time, space and support to homework. Once that is finished, free playtime is important at this age as most kids spend several hours a day sitting at a desk and being quiet.

7. Family time is a priority.

Daily dinnertime together, a weekly game night, chores done as a team, a quiet time reading or enjoying music together, playing sports as a family; any of these ideas and many, many more are great ways to foster a sense of family in your home. Make sure you make together-time a priority.

8. Celebrate the team.

Kids this age need to know they are a part of something bigger than themselves and the family structure can fill that need beautifully. Worshipping, playing and working together are smart ways to build your family’s strength for the years ahead as well as enjoy each other today.

9. Have a family ‘thing’.

Drawing on parenting tip #8, decide on a fun hobby the whole family can enjoy and jump right in. You can bike, go camping, build model trains, raise bunnies, volunteer in your community, or investigate the stars together. Trust me, nothing will build family memories easier or better than a shared family hobby.

10. Teach personal responsibility.

This parenting tip is vital for your child’s long-term well-being. And it’s simple enough to instill. Chores, homework and learning new skills like musical instruments or sports activities are excellent ways to teach your school-aged child more and more about being responsible for himself and his possessions.

Now you have 10 parenting tips for elementary-age children. Each one of these tips has been time-tested in my home and thousands of other homes over the years. These parenting tips work…but only if you PUT them to work with your family. Enjoy your family more by taking the guesswork out of parenting. Establish these simple guidelines and reduce your parenting stress load today.

Colleen Langenfeld has been parenting for over 27 years and helps other moms enjoy mothering more at http://www.paintedgold.com . Visit her website and grab another 10 parenting tips today.

Soccer Moms and Raising Money

There are times when the soccer team needs new uniforms and the sponsors can not afford to pay for the entire cost of these new uniforms. This is where the team depends on the soccer moms and their knowledge of fundraising come in.

Soccer moms can band together and come up with some really good ideas on raising money for new uniforms and equipment when needed by the soccer teams.

Fundraising events can be for the adults only such as a trivia night in which groups or teams of people purchase a table and then everything is included like their drinks and food. The soccer mom’s would get donations from local businesses for the drinks and food in exchange for advertising the local businesses before and during the trivia night event. The soccer moms could approach a local radio host or some other local personality to host the evening as MC or the person who asks the questions. In addition, there must be prizes and these can be donated by local businesses in exchange for visible advertising on all signs and announcements regarding the fund raiser.

Other adult only fundraisers could include a dinner and dance or a Vegas casino night. Fundraisers that could include the children are movie and popcorn night at the movie theater; bowling; a day at the amusement park or regular park or a swimming party at someone’s house or a local swimming pool.

Fundraising is mostly about donations and advertising and soccer moms know how to do both. The soccer moms know how to get the donations for the sale of items or for the prizes. They play on the sympathies of the big business or even the small businesses to get the donations. Another good way to get the donations is to offer free advertising in exchange for the donations. This is always a good way to get donations from both small and large businesses. Putting ‘sponsored by:’ on the signs or in the announcements with the businesses name always helps the businesses because it is like free advertisement for them and it only costs them the amount of the product or service they are donating.

Many of the soccer mom fundraisers for uniforms and equipment can include the soccer players because they need to learn the value of working for what they need. Fundraisers like dog washes; car washes; bake sales in which they make or help make most of the baked good and yard sales are all something the children can help with.

Having a soccer mom yard sale to help raise money for equipment and/or uniforms is something everyone can get involved in and it not only helps the team, it helps the environment because you are recycling old junk that you would normally be throwing away when you clean your house. The kids can clean out their room of old toys and books they no longer play with and the adults can clean the house of unused items as well.

Visha Lopez has written more soccer mom articles at momvoice.com Read her article on What’s Important for Soccer Moms.

Prepare to Bring Home the Newborn Child

At last, the wait is over and you are now officially a mother. You can now laugh at those morning sickness, pain and anxiety you have experienced for the past few months. You have been very brave that you overcome those times, and finally it’s over. While you have now your baby in your arms, you might never thought you could love a little one so much. You are in such awe and amazement of how adorable and precious your little bundle of joy is. It seems that you don’t want to ever let go of your baby, but your little one needs to be checked by nurses and you too need to get rest. All has been well and settled in the hospital and you feel very confident to have you and your baby released home.

Having you and your little one settled at home, you are rest assured that there will be no more nurses and check ups all day long and you are now free to spend all your time with your baby. But surprisingly, your rest will soon disturbed because the child won’t stop crying, you are trying to feed her, or change her diaper, and entertain her but nothing is working. And worse, she won’t stop spitting up and pooping.

With this situation, perhaps you will begin to realize that coming home is not a right choice that you are tempted to pack up your stuff and take your baby back to the hospital for a few more days of rest. We often thought that giving a little doll to a crying baby would pay off. What we seem to think may not always be true.

Don’t make mistake of taking those cases as a threat especially for pregnant moms. Rather, take it as encouragement that tells you to prepare for your upcoming baby, and staying for a couple of days in the hospital allows you to rest better. Take it one step at a time, don’t let yourself gets too excited of playing a new role as mom. Taking on too much in the beginning can make yourself sick and then won’t have enough time to spend taking care of your precious child. Avoid letting yourself act as if you are a ‘’super mommy”, you will only stress yourself out. So take the few tips below after you and your baby have been released from the hospital.

* Get rest. Do not let others disturbed you while you are sleeping. It is more better not to take visitors in the house during your first week after you have been released from the hospital.

* Swallow your pride. You obviously need someone who can help you with cleaning as well as buying all your necessities. Although you might be prepared for major essentials but sometimes forgetting little things is inevitable.

* Do not force yourself to work on some things too much during the first few weeks.

* If you have a partner, of course he should help you as far as he could. For instance, you can both reshuffle baby caring schedules. This will allow each of you to get some rest while the other one is awake.

* Long before your due date, prepare everything. If there is a baby shower party then have your baby gifts prepared already. Also, you don’t want to forget important baby supplies like baby clothing, feeding supplies, blankets, baby furniture and other caring items for your little one.

Jnet is an author for a variety of lifestyle issues and topics. If you’re looking for unique baby gifts, visit the website Prettybabygifts.com and browse their collection. Shop for a baby crib bedding set online!

Parenting: What Praise Helps and What Praise Harms?

“…telling children they’re smart…made them feel dumber and act dumber.”

–Mindset, by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D., p.74

In her extraordinary book, Mindset, Dr. Carol S. Dweck presents research that, hopefully, will change the course of parenting and education. In one of her research studies, conducted with hundreds of mostly early adolescent students, she:

“…gave each student a set of ten fairly difficult problems from a non-verbal IQ test. They mostly did well on these and when they were finished we praised them.

We praise some of the students for their ability. They were told: ‘Wow, you got [say] eight right. That’s a really good score. You must be smart at this….’

We praise other students for their effort: ‘Wow, you got [say] eight right. That’s a really good score. You must have worked really hard.’” P. 71-2

As it turned out, the students who were praised for being smart started to do worse and didn’t enjoy the harder problems, fearing being exposed for not being as smart as the researcher thought, while 90% of the students praised for effort tried harder and enjoyed the harder problems. In fact, they found the harder problems “the most fun.” In the end “the performance of the ability-praised students plummeted,” while the “effort kids showed better and better performance.”

“Since this was a kind of IQ test, you might say that praising ability lowered the students’ IQs. And that praising their effort raised them.” P. 73

This is powerful research for parents and educators. As I look back on kids I grew up with and went to school with, I can see this in action. Often, the kids who were told how smart or talented they were, or how much natural ability they had in a given area, such as sports or math, were the kids who never lived up to their potential. Those kids who were not given a “potential” to live up to were often the ones who did really well.

What Dr. Dweck’s research shows is that praising an ability is one of the things that contributes to creating what she calls a “fixed mindset,” which is a belief that our intelligence and abilities are something we are just born with and cannot be changed. Those with a “growth mindset” - the intent to learn - do not have this belief. They believe that through dedication and effort, they can develop their intelligence and abilities. As she shows in her excellent book, this has been proven over and over in all walks of life.

So what about praise? As we can see, praising a child for abilities contributes to the child becoming externally defined. This child says, “I get approval when I succeed. My worth is attached to success.” This creates a fear of not succeeding and therefore not being worthy, which not only limits what the child tries to do, but also limits the enjoyment of it. The child is no longer learning for the joy of it, but for the approval, and will stop trying if it appears that he or she is not going to succeed. Failure to this child means, “I am a failure.”

On the other hand, those children praised for effort rather than for abilities learn to be internally defined. They keep their natural enjoyment of learning. They are excited by the prospect of a challenge because they are unattached to the outcome of success or failure. Failure just means that they will try harder. Success or failure doesn’t define their worth.

Not only can parents and teachers greatly benefit from reading “Mindset”, but anyone stuck in protecting against pain or failure can also benefit. If you have been trying to heal or progress in various areas of your life and feel you are not getting anywhere, read “Mindset.” I highly recommend it.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By My Kids?” and

10 Parenting Tips For Preschoolers

Preschoolers are amazing little creatures. They can go, go, go all day, absorbing huge amounts of information on the fly. Having helped four children of my own navigate this precious season of life, here are my 10 parenting tips for preschoolers.

1. Use your imagination.

Preschoolers do. Everyday, all day long. Their developing imaginations help them to make sense of their world and since they have limited experience, imaginations help them to fill in the gaps. Imaginative play helps them understand new concepts in a non-threatening way.

2. Why is the sky blue?

Preschoolers have a ton of questions and rightly so. As their parent, you are the resident expert on all things in life. What a wonderful position of influence! Preschoolers need simple and direct answers, so save the complicated, technically correct answers for their science class in a few years.

3. Be patient.

Preschoolers are eager to learn about everything around them. However, they have limited attention spans and vocabularies. This can lead to frustration! One of our daughters at this age was interested in information she couldn’t articulate yet. Sometimes she would sit crying while we would play a guessing game, trying to figure out what she was wanting to know. Over time and as her verbal abilities developed, she grew into an extremely descriptive person. Your ability to stay patient will help your little one develop patience with herself, too.

4. Sympathize with their struggles.

Along the same lines as being patient is to sympathize and empathize with your preschooler’s struggles. Let them know you understand how tough some things are for them and that you are on their side. This age group really likes the idea that someone is their champion; it will help them listen to you even when they don’t like what you have to say.

5. Play grown-up.

Preschoolers are wonderful imitators of all things adult. Providing a dress-up box filled with your cast off treasures is one of the best things you can do for your little one’s play habits. Read a good book, then act it out together and you’ll be your preschooler’s best friend for life.

6. Boundaries with a bit of freedom.

Your young child needs to know where the limits of behavior are in your family. So tell her clearly and firmly. Then enforce those limits as necessary. This gives your child a tremendous sense of security and establishes you as a leader in her life; both concepts she will need as she grows. Include a bit of freedom within those boundaries; “you can play anywhere in your playroom or bedroom with those toys, but not in the living room.” Such boundaries allow her to practice making small decisions and to learn self-control.

7. Active is best.

Preschoolers need to be active! They are driven to move and explore. So make sure you include plenty of active time in each and every day. Television is not an active time so keep it to a minimum.

8. Educational toys are more fun.

Look for action-oriented toys that go along with your preschooler’s action-oriented drive. One-use toys are simply boring at this age. Aim for toys that can be turned into multiple things and imaginative toys that require play-acting.

9. Enlist your preschooler’s cooperation.

Appeal to your little one’s sense of ‘big girl’ or ‘big boy’. Ask him to help you carry the groceries inside or put the laundry away. Show how to fold clothes and set the table. If you start these simple tasks now, they will be habits by the time your child is old enough to do them well.

10. Sleep is good.

Make sure your preschooler gets an adequate amount of sleep each day. Some kids at this age still need naps, some do not. Your little guy or gal will function better, be more cooperative and enjoy each day more with the correct amount of rest. Make sure there is a quiet time in your home each evening that will signal to your preschooler that bed time is arriving.

There you have my 10 parenting tips for preschoolers. Enjoy this special time in your child’s life as she literally absorbs the world around her. It is a magical time for children and parents alike and the relationship you forge with your child at this stage will stay with you both a long, long time.

Colleen Langenfeld has been parenting for over 27 years and helps other moms enjoy mothering more at http://www.paintedgold.com . Visit her website and grab another 10 parenting tips today.

Protecting Children on the Net

Today kids love getting on the web. They meet new people, find interesting information, enjoy great games, and more. However, most kids don’t really realize how dangerous the web can be. As parents, it’s important that we protect our kids. So, here’s a look at dangers on the net, some steps to protecting kids online, and why software can be a top protective method to use in your home.

The Dangers on the Net for Kids

You’ll find that there are many different dangers on the net for kids today. In fact, you may not even be aware of them. Here are five of the top dangers you need to be aware of.

- Danger #1 - Malware - Malware essentially refers to malicious software, such as viruses, adware, Trojans, and adloaders. These can all damage your computer or can even allow people to get a hold of sensitive information. Many kids accidently download it or go to sites that put it on your computer.

- Danger #2 - Identity Theft - Sometimes kids respond to phishing scams or even give out private information. This can set them up for identity theft.

- Danger #3 - Content Inappropriate for Kids - There is a huge amount of inappropriate content on the web and it’s easy for kids to get to it. The last thing you want is your kids stumbling across nasty porn or graphic violence on the web.

- Danger #4 - Online Bullying - Online bullying is more common than many people realize. In some cases it has led to depression and even suicide. You don’t want your child to be a victim of it or to engage in it either.

- Danger #5 - Online Predators - This is the nightmare of every parent. There are many online predators out there that try to get involved in the lives of kids. Some stalk them, blackmail them, kidnap them, or worse.

Steps to Protecting Kids Online

Now that you realize some of the dangers on the net for your kids, it’s time to start protecting them. Here are some simple steps to help you keep your children protected from the dangers of the internet.

- Step #1 - Warn Your Children - First of all, you need to make sure that you warn your kids of the dangers on the web. Sit down and talk to them about dangers that can occur so they can be prepared. Let them know things to look out for on the web.

- Step #2 - Keep Communication Open - Keep the communication open between you and your kids. Talk about what they do on the internet and stay involved in their lives. Make sure they feel comfortable talking with you if something negative occurs online.

- Step #3 - Set Some Ground Rules - Set some ground rules for computer use. Give them a limited time online and restrict sites that they are allowed to visit.

- Step #4 - Have the Computer in a Public Place in Your Home - Kids shouldn’t be closed up in their room on the computer. This can breed secrecy and distrust. The computer should be located in a public area in the home where you can monitor what is going on when your child is online.

- Step #5 - Monitor What Your Kids are Doing on the Web - It’s not snooping. You should be checking out the sites your kids are visiting online. This way you know what is going and can ensure that they are not going places that could endanger them on the net.

Software - A Top Protective Method

Probably one of the most important things that you can do to keep your kids safe on the net is to install some type of internet protection software. The right software can allow you to set up parental controls on the computer so you can block content altogether that may be harmful for your children. Good software can also help you to more closely monitor what your child is doing online, such as the sites that they are visiting and what they are doing on these sites.

It’s imperative that you work to keep your children safe online. The net is a great tool, but it must be used carefully when it comes to your kids. Take the steps listed and start using them. Invest in some great software as well. Together they will help you to make sure that your kids enjoy their time online and that they don’t become victims.

This article was written by Tony Hilton. Tony currently writes on behalf of Fix-this-computer.com which amongst other things contains details of software which can help your protect your children online including reviews of Net Nanny and PC Tattle Tale.

Nursing Mother: Easy Cover-Up Solution

Are you a nursing mother? Does having to cover up while nursing frustrate you and/or your baby? Do you get looks from people who are obviously offended by your not-so-discreet nursing in public? Are you wearing out the glider in your baby’s nursery and tired the staring at the same wall d

Single Motherhood – the Good, The Bad and the Ugly Truths

The Good On a hot day in July, I sat in the parking lot of Savannah Technical College and craned my neck to catch a glimpse of the young girl hastily making her way up the sidewalk. She wore bright yellow hospital scrubs with colorful butterflies, obviously coming from work. “Wow,” I thought. “She looks way too young for college.” As I smiled at the way her backpack swung from side to side, she suddenly turned around, smiled and waved. I slightly turned my head, not wanting to tear my eyes away from the sight of this young woman, but also not wanting to let on that I had been staring. Finally, lifting my hand, I waved back as eighteen years of triumphs and adversity culminated into one beautiful, proud moment as I watched my daughter walk into adulthood.

Yes, that working woman/student is mine. The stork dropped her on my doorstep 18 years ago and neglected to leave the parenting manual! I did not have a clue but clueless or not, I had options. Either I was going to do right or do wrong. I chose to do right but did I always succeed in doing the right thing? Of course not. I had to navigate my way through the maze of single motherhood, sometimes stumbling and several times, falling, but I always got back up. I would brush myself off, regroup and get back to my job, which by the way had multiplied three times. By the age of 25, I had three children with three fathers, yet I was raising them alone.

25, unmarried and uninterested, I blindly set out on a journey – never thinking beyond the next day, never stopping to ask myself if I was ready to raise one baby, much less three by myself! If I had bothered, the answer would have been unequivocally, NO. But today as I watched my daughter, my firstborn cross the threshold, I know beyond a doubt that I am a good mother. I’m not just a baby’s mama or just a single mother. I am simply a mother. I can now without reservation say, I am qualified, certified, justified and you can punch my ticket because I have been validated.

The Bad “I’m going out and I’ll be back,” I told my sister as I closed the door. How many times had she heard that story? Back then I went out every night from Wednesday to Saturday. Sometimes I wouldn’t make it home until the next day. I never really worried about my children because I had two younger sisters and occasionally my mom would stay home while I prowled the streets. I didn’t think my kids cared or even realized I was not there and I used that to my advantage. I told myself they were too young to realize I was an absentee parent, but I was wrong.

I had fooled myself into believing that I was giving my children all I had to give and I dared anyone to dispute me! That was my story and I was sticking to it. I really thought I was doing my job because sometimes I would read to them before they went to sleep. I taught them how to write and spell their names but the one thing I didn’t do was make raising my family my number one priority. Sure, I had moments of lucidity when I would realize the error of my ways and try to do the right thing, but overall, that wasn’t the case. My happiness came first.

The Ugly Putting a man before my kids was never a problem for me. Putting myself before my kids was the culprit. For me it was always about what I needed or what I wanted to do. I’m not saying I should’ve given my children every moment of my free time because we all need a little me time for sanity reasons. I’m saying when you have to make decisions that could negatively impact your children, always choose your kids. Something as simple as going out on a night that your child is sick makes a statement that could affect their overall self perception. If you don’t treat them like they are important, they won’t think they are.

Just ask yourself, what investment do you have in the club? Like Janet Jackson said, what has the club done for you lately? Is the club paying your bills? Heck no. As a matter of fact, with the money you spend getting in and buying drinks, you are paying the club’s bills! After being a parent who on occasion chose the club, I can tell you, there is nothing in the club that won’t be there next time and the next time and the next time… It rarely changes. On the other hand, your children are changing. They are developing a sense of who they are and their importance in this world and I hate to lay it on heavy, but most of that depends on you! You have a responsibility to your family and keep in mind those children did not ask to be here. We made the decision to bring them here and in doing so, we accepted the challenge and responsibilities that come with it.

Changing Priorities One evening as I got dressed to go out, I noticed my seven year old daughter sitting in the corner watching my every move. In her eyes I could see love, admiration and respect resonating and I realized that I was setting the stage for her future and as of that point; I had done nothing to encourage her to be a successful, respectful young lady. Oh, she would know how to dress and look like a lady but what was I really showing her? What was I teaching her about men and relationships when I was in and out of them every few months? What kinds of responsibility was I teaching her when I would go out and buy a new outfit every week for the club, then struggle to feed them off what was left?

Throughout my children’s upbringing, I can say I always maintained a job, sometimes two but there was never enough money. That is because I knew nothing about money management and budgeting. My thing was, “I work every day and I am not going to spend all my money on bills!” I believed in paying myself before I paid anything else. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! I eventually learned about making a sacrifice for a short period of time to see a long-term benefit but that was only after having numerous utilities disconnected, a car repossessed and being about one day away from eviction. Can you say ruined credit? But what did I care about my credit? I simply stopped answering the phone and did what a lot of single mothers do, waited on my income tax check to get those creditors off my back.

At forty I would like to buy a house and a new car but my credit is shot to hell! I pay for monthly credit monitoring, write letters to the three credit bureaus frequently and though I see some results, it’s slow moving. Now I have to wait - just like the creditors did. Sometimes I had to make the hard decisions where a bill would have to wait because it really was rough and money was scarce but for the most part I have to say honestly, I ruined my credit because I didn’t make smart choices and my priorities were mixed up. It’s that simple.

Through it all, God continued to bless me and put people in my path that would guide me and teach me about sacrificing. But I believe my biggest lessons came from the three who were placed in my care. If you take the time to get to know your children, you will realize their greatness. They have the ability to transform, mold and shape you into someone you can be proud of, but you have to invest in them. Try it. You will be surprised by the transformation you see when you begin to really listen to them, talk to them and do the little things. I know I was amazed. This was an awakening for me because when I saw the good things reflecting from a mini me, I began to see my own greatness and I began to truly respect myself and demand more from life.

I thank God for making those wonderful, beautiful little creatures whose blind love and sometimes not so blind love, made me a better person. I have three distinct individuals and I love the challenge of reaching them on their level. I have been blessed with a smart, beautiful daughter. Her personality is a lot like mine, so I talk to her a lot about my mistakes. Sometimes she says I tell her too much but I want her to know my struggles, so they won’t become hers.

I have a 17 year old son. He’s always been a loner and on occasion I have had to resist the urge to try to change him. He’s intelligent, quiet but outspoken at the same time. He rarely challenges me and has said little about the times I was not the best parent in the world. Maybe he didn’t notice because he’s always been in his own little corner of the world. Either way, he knows he has an outlet in which to express his feelings.

My youngest son is 15 and not quite as easy or forgiving as his siblings. From about age four he has been causing me to own up to my mess. He doesn’t give me a pass because I was a single mother. His philosophy is so simple. He frequently says, “You should have made better life choices.” Of course he is right and it hurts to hear him say it, but it keeps me focused and hopefully, it will become his mantra, also. I don’t expect him to be like his brother or sister. I respect his individuality and though sometimes his “individuality” tests my limits, I refuse to give up on him.

After extensive conversations with my children, I now know they were aware of more than I gave them credit for. For a long time afterwards, I was ashamed of my behavior and would experience moments of depression because I didn’t like looking at that man in the mirror. I had to realize I can’t erase the past but I can learn from it. We go through things to make us wiser and better people. I can honestly say I cleaned up my act and I am not just a good mother, I am a good person.

In closing, I’d like to say to the large sisterhood of single mothers, “We cannot keep using the single mom ticket to get a pass. We cannot keep making the same errors in judgment and expect things in our lives to change. We have to make better life decisions, for ourselves and for our children. Their future depends on us living up to our responsibilities, prioritizing our lives and exercising our options- because we do have them. We need to tell our children how wonderful and special they are and how bright their futures are. If we don’t instill a positive sense of self, they will continue the cycle of single parenthood and like us, they too will experience the good the bad and the ugly - ONLY MAGNIFIED!

Tamara Pray Frazier is a freelance writer and author who likes to write true life stories that often uses her very colorful life as a reference tool. She is the author of one book titled, In His Own time

Baby Shower Ideas: What Do You Need?

Baby shower party is perhaps a very special occasion for every mom and dad-to-be, especially for preparing the family and friends in welcoming their upcoming new bundle of joy. Setting up a baby shower party is usually done a month or weeks before the due date of the baby.

One of the most exciting part of being a woman or married life is having children. Having a child can give a different kind of happy feeling or bliss to the parents. For you to welcome this little bundle of joy to the and proudly let you family, friends and colleagues, you should know all of your pregnancy details and understand your joy; a major reason for you to celebrate a baby shower party. Although it is not traditionally initiated by the parents-to-be, it is often planned and scheduled by family members and friends.

Yes, you want to have a shower party for the upcoming little one, but the real challenge is where you must begin. Think if you really know what is a baby shower party all about, when and why you have to do it. These are very important considerations that you should take into account first before planning the event. A baby shower is a meaning and special time for every couple who conducted it. This is the best time that your family and friends will get to know your upcoming child’s gender. This is also one way to somehow help them choose the right color of gifts they will give when you already have delivered your child.

When talking about planning a shower party, it is quite obvious that your main focus is in the baby and next is his or her parents. Where to hold the party? It’s up to you, you can have it at home, which is often the case. Or, you can always rent or find a friend who has an access to a clubhouse or even owns one. Just make sure that the area is enough for the number of your guests. Then you can prepare tables or bar where there will be light snacks for them. Plan to have small programs also, like activities and games that can get the party going on. After which, you can then welcome your guests and telling them the menu for the day.

If there will be other kids in the party, you can also throw games for them. Make sure you have prepared game prize for each winner. You may want to spot a good place where to put the shower gifts, that are usually lots. You can open the gifts while your guests are still at the party and show them how you really appreciate their present. Plus, one more important thing during a baby shower party, this special event should have some remembrance. Prepare digital camera or video cam to capture funny and crazy times during the occasion.

Going back to shower gifts, often gifts that usually given are baby items like baby clothing, blankets, bibs, bathing supplies, baby furniture and the likes which are very useful for the child. Also, you could always include baby shower gifts for mom and dad. Aside from family gifts, of course you want to thank also your guests and they too deserves gifts. Gifts for the guests are in the form of shower favors, which are often cute and complements the party theme.

Jnet is an author for a variety of lifestyle issues and topics. If you’re looking to do some baby shopping, visit the website Prettybabygifts.com and browse their collection. Shop for a baby keepsake online!

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